


The Missing Heart

by orphicsheep



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Alternate Universe - Howl's Moving Castle Fusion, Curse Breaking, Demon Deals, Isolation, M/M, Magic Lessons, Romance, Shadowgast Week 2020, Stupid Useless Wizard Pining, demons but keeping it light make it domestic you know how it is, finding familiars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:15:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23788438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphicsheep/pseuds/orphicsheep
Summary: Essek's a secluded wizard occupying a lonely tower in Rosohna until he stumbles across a runaway mage from the Empire seeking sanctuary. Legends say he sold his heart to a demon for power, but Caleb wants to free him from his pact. (Howl's Moving Castle AU)
Relationships: Essek Thelyss & Caleb Widogast, Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 12
Kudos: 162
Collections: Shadowgast Week 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Threw something together last minute for Shadowgast week! Day 6 had a fairytale prompt, but could also fall under ritual, since there's more than one. No M9 or spoilers besides a few allusions to Caleb's tragic backstory, but it's not the focus. Second half/conclusion will be up in a day or two. Thanks for reading!

Bren Aldric Ermendrud died on the Zemnian border on the run from mage-hunters.

_You are Caleb, now. Caleb Widogast. The son of a farmer from Blumenthal._

As he gazed, thoughtfully, down into the reflective mirror-like surface of the lake, he wondered what disguise he would cast. Where he would go. He who would become, if he lived long enough to become... well, anyone. He had never travelled further than Rexxentrum before, and now he was trying to leave the Empire. He knew it wasn't safe for him, now that he was on the run from the Assembly, and his former Masters. Former teachers. He cast disguise self, to make him look like an elf with long unkempt hair and brown eyes, and conceal the scars across his arms and amulet around his neck, which would have branded him at once as one of Trent's students, then pulled up the hood of his cloak, and listened carefully, for the sound of his pursuers. He heard, in the distance, the clatter of hooves, took up the simple bundle of belongings which were all he had in the world, and did the only thing he could do, now: _run._

He ran well, but he could not outrun the mage-hunters. They rode on large black horses, whose steps shook the earth. But he kept going, because he had to; because getting caught meant death, or worse; being made one of Trent's puppets.

His heart beat wildly. His lungs gasped for air. Adrenaline gave him more strength and stamina than he had ever experienced before, but it wasn't enough. Then suddenly he felt himself being lifted up, so that his torn boots no longer connected with the ground as they kicked wildly, searching for footing, but he was still moving forward, gliding just atop the rocks and vines and dirt that wallpapered the earth. Then he felt a hand connect with his shoulder, lifting him up even further, until he was being carried through thick green canopies, into the trees. 

Caleb watched, captivated, reeling, as the horses sped by, unaware, just below him, before turning to face his captor. He was also watching the hunters thunder by, a little further down the branch and closer to the trunk of the tree than Caleb, who clung nervously to his segment, afraid any moment it might snap and send him plummetting to his death, they were so high up.

The figure wore a black cloak. He smiled, took down his hood. His teeth gleamed. He had dark blue-purple skin, long slanted elven ears, a strong jaw, and silver eyes which gleamed like moonlight. His short white hair, shaven close at the sides, was unusual for an elf, but neatly framed his face.

"Who are you?" Caleb asked, eyes narrowing as he took a step back... before realising, too late, that would upset his balance. His arms pinwheeled for a moment, before he righted himself.

"Forgive me," the drow gave a deep bow, before catching Caleb's hand, and dipping down to graze a kiss across his knuckles. "Essek Thelyss, at your service."

The name was familiar. His eye went wide, but he did not pull away when he realised who this elf was.

"You're the Wizard of the Wastes, aren't you?"

He had heard stories in the Academy of a strange and solitary mage who made his home in the wilds of Xhorhas named Essek Thelyss, but they were the sort of stories one tells children to frighten them. Legend had it, Essek only left his tower to lure beautiful young men and women to their deaths. That his magic was so powerful because he fed on mortal hearts, to unnaturally prolong his own life, and strengthen his magic.

The elf before him, however, did not look as monstrous as these stories made him out to be. He was attractive and well-dressed, wearing fitted dark robes and close woven leather boots beneath his fine cloak. He let Caleb pull his hand away, took a step back, crossed his arms.

"Some call me by that name, yes, but... it's unimportant," he said, waving his hand dismissively. "You have not told me who you are, or what you are running from?"

Caleb felt his throat closing already. He was not sure how much he should tell him. His instinct was to tell him nothing... but he had saved his life, and... he was hardly a beautiful young maiden, at risk of getting his heart eaten. He swallowed the rock in his throat, nodded.

"I am running away from home." A lie that was not entirely a lie. Those are the easiest to get away with.

"Oh?" Essek smirked, one brow raised. He did not look convinced.

"Ja, I... had a fight with my father..."

Essek moved forward, pulled loose the cloak around Caleb's neck, revealing the anti-scrying amulet he had stolen during his escape. The drow took hold of it, turned it over in his hand, bringing him needlessly close to Caleb, who turned his head to avoid having to look him in the eyes.

"They give these to just any villager wearing a cheap disguise?" He let the amulet fall from his hand, still tied around Caleb's neck.

"No, but I was... apprenticed to a member of the Cerberus Assembly," he admitted, head sinking. "He hurt me, so I ran away. I stole this before I left so he wouldn't find me."

Essek's smile disappeared. He nodded with a look akin to sympathy. "You are a wizard, too, then?"

Caleb scoffed, eyes still averted. "Barely! I have only just begun my training... but he saw potential in me. Please don't send me back," he pleaded, suddenly grabbing hold of Essek's arm. The elf immediately froze, as if Caleb had just struck him across the face.

"Fear not, little mage. I won't send you back to your Masters. I have had dealings in the past with Scourgers. We have... failed to see eye to eye. But you will need a better disguise, and hiding place, if you want to survive the night."

He couldn't see anything wrong with his disguise, but he bowed to what he presumed was the archmage's superior wisdom. "Do you have any suggestions?"

Essek smiled prettily, a row of sharp white teeth on display, looking far too much like a wolf for comfort. Caleb took a step back, but felt the branch growing taught, and his arms shot out on either side to steady himself. Essek glided forward to catch his arms, a flash of what seemed like genuine concern crossing his face as Caleb's breath caught, and he was supended, before Essek eased him back onto solid footing.

"Have you ever been to Rosohna?" He asked.

Caleb shook his head.

"You can spend the night in my tower, then make your way from Rosohna to... wherever you're heading. As our respective nations are at war... I do not think they will look for you there."

Spending the night somewhere warm and dry sounded a lot nicer than spending it sleeping in some swamp, with only his cloak as a blanket, but... he was still the Wizard of the Wastes, so Caleb hesitated to accept.

"Don't worry, I won't try anything to impinge on your modesty," Essek assured him, evidently reading the fear in his glamoured eyes. 

"Can you promise not to eat my heart?" Caleb asked.

Essek laughed in answer, relaxing his hold on Caleb's arm.

"I can promise you a hot meal and a warm bed for the night."

"You did just save my life. I suppose I should trust you."

"I suppose you should."

"Which way to Rosohna?" He asked.

Essek smirked. "Down. Follow me."

He offered his hand, and Caleb took it, surprising himself.

Then, without any warning, Essek leapt from the tree, dragging Caleb with him, so that they were freefalling. They did not plummet for long before he took a feather from his cloak, murmurred something, and they suddenly became as light as a feather, slowly drifting down until they reached solid ground. Then Essek released Caleb's hand, took out magic blue chalk, and started drawing a teleportation circle.

Caleb watched him, heart still racing, unsure what to do now his attention was pulled. He could make a run for it, take his chances with the wilds... or he could follow the Wizard of the Wastes all the way to Rosohna. _Ghor Dranas, a land overrun by demons and horrors._

A land, more importantly, thousands of miles away from Rexxentrum. Essek finished his circle and rose to his feet, extended a hand.

"Are you coming with me or not?"

"I have a choice?"

"I'm not a fairytale villain, come to kidnap beautiful young innocents, no matter what your bards may tell you."

Caleb lowered his eyes before his hand, seemingly of its own accord, reached out to take Essek's, whose fingers closed around his own before incanting something in Undercommon, and dragging them both through time and space until they appeared inside a warm tower, lit by a crackling fire.

Essek immediately let go of Caleb's hand and straightened up, once they were inside. He called for a servant, told them to stoke the fire, the bring some warm clothes for his guest to change into. Caleb looked wide eyed about the room, elegant but... too formal, too impersonal, to truly feel like a home, apart from the fire casting shadows on tall brick walls. He could not stop _shivering,_ the cold air of the swamp and open meadows he'd been running through still in his bones and making heavy his damp cloak and boots.

"You may drop your disguise while here," Essek assured him, gesturing to a chair.

Caleb dropped his disguise, and Essek looked him over in a way that left him feeling as if he were already undressed. He seemed to look straight through him.

"I suppose you are handsome," Essek observed, clicking his tongue. "For a human." 

The servant returned with folded robes. Essek gestured for him to hand them to Caleb, then asked for a bath to be drawn, and dinner prepared.

"I don't often have guests, but one of the spare rooms will be prepared for you. I hope you will be comfortable."

Caleb forced a laugh. "Anything is better than sleeping under the stars, eating nothing but wild berries."

"Is it? I wonder." There was a long pause as he considered the renegade mage, and what brought him here, so far from home.

Caleb did not look 'important,' but he was being pursued by the Assembly, so he must be important to _them,_ if nothing else. He had recognised those hunters on sight, from their familiar dark red armour, being the Assembly's crest. He knew they were well-versed in the arts of tracking and killing mages, so surely the young man they were pursuing must be one. The amulet around the mage's neck... was a story of its own. He must have fought tooth and nail to steal it. _A caged bird, broken free._ That was all Essek needed to know, before he made the impulsive decision to rescue him.

Without his disguise, he was a thin, frail human, reasonably tall, with red hair, bright blue eyes, small round ears, and pale skin dusted with freckles and sunspots and an uneven tan. He clearly needed a bath and a change of clothes but... there was something nonethless appealing about the face had tried so hard to hide, and the mystique of eyes so full of pain on so young a face did not escape him. The spark of magic in him was as wild and unkempt as his hair, but Essek could see it just by looking at him. It shone in his eyes and through him, barely contained, lighting him up like a lantern.

"You have me at a disadvantage. You know my name, and I don't know yours."

"Caleb Widogast."

Essek was still staring when Caleb lifted his gaze. He looked more fey than elven in this light. The silver of his eyes stood out against dark sclera, seeming almost to glow.

He could not forget the way Caleb had responded to his name with a look of horror _._ _Essek Thelyss, the Wizard of the Wastes._ His reputation often proceeded him. It was no wonder he hesitated to take his hand, or accept his invitation.

"Would you tell me the name of your former mentor?"

Caleb went quiet, looked away. His hand instinctively went to the place where his amulet hanged.

"If you don't tell me who we are going up against, I cannot protect you," Essek explained.

"You don't have to protect me. I can protect myself," the young mage snapped, because of course he did. He was stubborn, and arrogant, as all young mages are. Essek smirked, shook his head.

"I am sure you can, but while you are a guest in my house, it is my duty to protect you. I cannot do this if I do not know who might be knocking at my door, looking for you."

The mage remained obstinantly silent for a long moment, before finally relenting.

"Master Trent Ikithon," he whispered in a low voice.

Essek nodded. 

"Ah. Thank you."

He gestured for his servant to come over, asked him to prepare a warm bath. "Dinner will be ready soon. If you wish to leave to-night... I would suggest wearing a disguise. Humans are not... always well-received, in this city."

"You mean... I can leave?" Caleb asked.

"You are not a prisoner here. You can come and go as you please."

Caleb nodded, and the servant extended an arm, directing him to the door, ready to lead him to the washroom. Caleb followed him to the doorway before he stopped, casting one last glance back at Essek.

"Thank you," he murmurred, and Essek gave a curt nod, half-bowing, as Caleb fled the room like a ghost, still shaking from the chill that had sunk into his bones from his night in the woods. He looked... harrowed, by it all. By the chase, the night, his tower, him.

Essek was glad he accepted his invitation. Glad to finally have company who knew something, anything, of magic. He may have been young and untrained but... there was potential there. So much potential. He would hate to see that flame snuffed out before its time.

☆☆☆

Caleb sank into the bath, let the hot water rise to his chin, closed his eyes. Dragged a damp hand through his matted hair, held his breath and slid under the water, just long enough that it felt, for a single moment, like drowning, then pushed his head up again, tasting the air.

The hot water felt good against his tired, aching muscles, even if it stung when his arms returned to the water, and when it splashed against the blisters on his feet. For the first time since his rescue he was allowed to think of a plan for what to do next. His amulet may have protected him from scrying, but it didn't make him invisible. He could still be tracked by the Assembly's hunters, even here, even thousands of miles from home.

He looked down at his naked arms, covered in scars. The servant had insisted on treating them, and when Caleb recoiled from his touch, he said it was "master's orders," and it would be "poor manners" if a guest in his house died, needlessly, of an infection while in his care. The medicinal herbs applied scalded, but he bit his tongue, tried to brace himself, just like he had when he received them. 

As soon as he was finished, Caleb was left alone with a bath full of water quickly losing heat, a folded towel, and neatly folded robes which... were certainly not his. He pulled himself out of the tub, dried himself off, and slipped into his new robes. They were elegant, silk... not as elaborate as Essek's, but more expensive than anything Caleb had ever worn before. It felt wrong, wearing them, like he was dressing up as something or someone he's not. He turned to look at himself in the mirror. He ran a hand over his unshaven cheeks, over ragged red curls. He must have looked like a stray dog. No wonder Essek took pity on him. If this _was_ pity, and not a trap of some kind.

He had encountered Scourgers before. Maybe he was working with them. Or maybe he was just looking for another victim. Caleb tilted his head up, admiring his own reflection.

 _What's happened to you, Bren?_ He wondered, as he looked into his own eyes. _What would they say, back home, if they knew you had walked, willingly, into the Wizard of the Wastes tower?_

He grimaced, shook his head.

_He doesn't eat hearts, and even if he did... why would he want yours?_

He may have traded on his looks, once, but... that was before he got locked up, and ran away from the Academy. He looked more like a wild dog now, who had never seen a brush. Surely Essek Thelyss had better prospects than him.

_No one would want your heart, not even to eat._

As he waited to be called for dinner, Caleb made his way through the tower, mentally mapping it out room by room. But he got distracted, when he noticed an open door leading to what was, most likely, Essek's private study. Finding it empty, and full of books... he wandered in to have a better look. 

He extended a hand to take up one book on something called _'dunamancy,'_ and started when he noticed the dark elf had wandered in, silently, and was standing at his shoulder, arms crossed.

"An avid reader, I see."

"I like books."

Essek smiled, approvingly.

"Do you read undercommon?"

"No, but... I have a spell for that." 

He cast comprehend languages, and Essek's smile went wider, sharp fangs peering out from the corner of his mouth. He nodded, moved closer to Caleb, who tensed, expecting him to snatch the book out of his hands. Instead, he reached past him, pulling two other books off the shelf, and set them down on top of the book he was already holding.

"These may also be of interest. Return them when you're done."

Caleb opened his mouth to thank Essek, but before he could, he had drifted back out of the room, leaving Caleb alone with his library. Caleb, still holding the books, followed him.

"What is dunamancy?" He asked. The servant setting the dining table burst into low, cackling laughter.

Essek simply turned to face him with a soft smile.

"A study of the elements which make up our universe: space, time, and gravity; and how to bend them to one's will. I am told such endeavours are... discouraged, in your Empire."

"You can bend time and gravity to your will?" Caleb asked, jaw dropping.

"Of course," Essek answered as food was set out. He gestured for a chair, to his left, and Caleb, unthinking, took it. His stomach growled with hunger, but his focus was entirely on Essek, now. He had lost all interest in food. Essek had to remind him to eat.

"Would you teach me?" He asked.

"Teach you?" He repeated, sounding incredulous.

"I haven't been studying magic long but... I am very keen," Caleb insisted.

He didn't want a repeat of the Academy. Getting starstruck by the senior mages. He was too old for that, now. Yet here he was, arms full of books about a magic he had never thought possible before, a magic ruled illegal by the Empire, starstruck and asking for... what? _Lessons?_

"And young. Very young."

"I'm an adult."

"Maybe among your people, but among mine..."

"Human lives are short. We have less time to make an impact. We have less time to waste."

That... struck a note. Caleb was not entirely sure why, but it struck a note. Essek gazed intently at him for a long moment, before slowly nodding.

"Very well. I will give you a few lessons if you like. I have never had an apprentice before. But what I said, when you first arrived, still stands: you are not bound here. You may leave whenever you wish."

The small servant dropped a plate, snapped upright, tail dancing. "You mean he's staying? The human?!" They asked.

"For a few days. That will give you time to recover and decide where you wish to go next."

Caleb nodded, eating his food without ceremony, like a starving wolf, which made Essek smile even more, as he delicately sipped his soup.

"Would you like to have your first lesson tonight or tomorrow?" 

"Tomorrow. I am still a little sore," Caleb admitted, than immediately regretted it. He did not want to sound vulnerable, or ungrateful, or... however that made him sound. "How did you know about the scars?"

"I saw them in the woods. They looked fresh." A pause. "You don't have to tell me anything about your past, if you don't wish to."

Caleb sighed, looked away. "I can't figure out why you're being so nice to me."

"Would you rather I treated you cruelly?"

"People usually do. It's what I'm used to." A pause, as he finished his meal, looking around them at the paintings and tapestries on the wall. They felt out of place here. "Shouldn't your tower be full of skeletons and wailing maidens? You are the Wizard of the Wastes, after all. Don't you have an image to keep up?"

"I don't like skeletons or wailing maidens. What's wrong with my tower?" Essek asked with mock offense.

"It's not even in the wastes! The bards have gotten everything wrong."

"To your people, all of Xhorhas is wastelands," Essek replied, shaking his head. "And even if I did eat hearts, why children's? There are far more adults whose hearts deserve to be eaten. Trent among them."

"Don't the hearts need to be innocent?"

Essek shrugged. "I wouldn't know; I don't eat hearts."

"It doesn't matter. I'm not a beautiful innocent, ripe for corruption."

The elf smirked, cocking his head to one side. "Don't be so sure."

Caleb dropped his spoon. The servant flitted back in, collecting their plates, and disappeared again. Essek was still gazing intently at him. Caleb pushed his chair out from the table and stood up. 

"I look forward to our lesson, but... I should really get some sleep. Good-night, Master Thelyss," he said, as Marin returned, ready to show him to his room for the night.

"Don't forget your books," Essek reminded him with a gesture, still nursing a glass of wine with his other hand. "I'll be happy to answer any questions you have tomorrow."

Caleb nodded curtly, taking up his books, waited for Marin to open the door and show him out. He cast one last glance in Essek's direction, still bright red to the tips of his small, rounded ears, before following Marin down the hallway.

The bedroom he was taken to was nice, not too large of lavish, but comfortable. Caleb sat down on the edge of the bed and cast dancing lights as the servant lit some candles.

"Do you like your Master?" Caleb asked, making idle conversation as he picked through his new books.

The servant tensed, clearly deliberating over whether or not to answer.

"Yes, very much," he finally said.

"You don't have to lie."

"I'm not lying! He's a good Master. He treats us well. But it does get lonely here sometimes. I think you'll be good for him."

Caleb blinked, surprised. "Good for him?"

"I think he needs a friend."

Caleb went quiet, gaze falling to the floor.

"Someone he can talk about books with. I would, but I can't read!"

Caleb nodded, still dwelling on his new books. He wondered how much he would be able to read before the spell wore off.

"If you don't mind my asking, Sir... you're a wizard, too, aren't you?"

Caleb lifted his head, startled by the 'Sir' more than anything. No one had ever called him that before.

"Yes, I am."

The servant smiled, clapped his hands together. "Great! Great. We haven't had a wizard in the house in _years!_ No wonder he's in such high spirits."

If this was Essek Thelyss in 'high spirits,' Caleb didn't want to know what he was like on an off day, but... he thanked the servant for helping. He bowed before taking leave of him.

Caleb stayed up for about two hours, pouring over his new books, before slipping into bed and falling fast asleep. It had been several nights before he slept in a warm bed, or a warm home... but as he slipped out of consciousness, he could not resist the pull of nightmares, which tugged him down into the depths of an abyss where his ears were filled with the screams of other 'victims' who fell pray to the machinations of the Wizard of the Wastes. 

What if that beautiful face was a glamour, that too-perfect smile concealing a mouth full of teeth like knives, and the hands which caught him and lifted him out from the path of danger were transfigured into claws or talons? What if he had sold his soul to a demons, and was now more demon than man?

It was hard to believe, in his waking state, in his beautiful tower, in his beautiful study, where he spoke so well, and was so polite, that he was a monster, but... he still woke up, heart racing out of his chest, unable to outrun black horses that had turned to demons before turning to ghosts, and he wondered if he were not in more danger here, surrounded by what looked like comfort and security, than he ever was in the clutches of the Cerberus Assembly.

Shivering, he pulled closer his duvet, eyes darting around the room. He re-cast dancing lights before sinking below the covers and trying to will himself back to sleep, but not before checking under the bed and in the cupboard without finding a single demon or skeleton.

☆☆☆

Caleb Widogast may have turned up, unexpected, in his life, with a false name, and nothing to recommend him besides the fact the Cerberus Assembly wanted him dead... but he turned out to be everything Essek could have asked for of an apprentice, if he had asked for an apprentice. If he had planned for him to be anything other than a passing distraction from his research. Caleb had been a decorative addition to his household, who quickly made himself a fixture. One lesson turned into regular lessons as Caleb took to dunamancy like a moth to a flame, advancing even faster than he had, when he first began his studies. He could often be found mulling through Essek's library in his absence, his appetite for knowledge impossible to satisfy. Essek would have given him lessons him every day if he could, but his research required him to travel often, and far. These absences were never explained, upon his return, and Caleb was never warned when he was leaving, or for how long. Caleb never asked when he would return, but always seemed happy when he did.

It wasn't something Essek really noticed, until he spent two weeks away from home only to find, upon his return, Caleb practically waiting at the door to greet him, bright-eyed with long unkempt ginger hair and a broom in hand. The tower was cleaner and brighter than he had ever seen it before. His reception was typically lukewarm, however, and he schooled his expression to look unimpressed, but he quickly scheduled their next lesson as a subtle thank you for Caleb's hardwork. He had never expected the human to stay this long.

"How were your travels?" He asked, reaching for Essek's mantle as he discarded it, to hang up by the door.

"Good," Essek replied, dryly, as he looked Caleb up and down. It was usually Marin who greeted him upon his return, took his mantle. Marin was _paid_ to. Caleb wasn't paid; except with his time, which he had hardly given him all month. "But I am tired. It was a long journey. If you want another lesson you will have to wait until tomorrow."

Caleb ran a hand through his hair, dipped his head. He so rarely met Essek's eyes, which was a shame. Essek had never seen any so blue before.

"It's okay. I'm just glad you're back."

"I'm surprised you're still here," he observed, a feeble attempt to make conversation. He sounded upset, but he wasn't really.

Caleb set down the broom, suddenly self-conscious, worried he had overstayed his welcome.

"I'm sorry, if you want me to go..."

Essek's hand shot forward, and Caleb's eyes darted up.

"No, you don't have to go, that's not what I meant," he explained, or tried to. He didn't want Caleb to go. He just wanted him to know he had the choice.

Marin arrived in time to intervene before a simple misunderstanding became a scene.

"Welcome home, Master!"

Essek cast a discerning eye over his tower. Marin had clearly heeded his instructions to fill it full of light, so Caleb had plenty to read by. There were more plants, too. Essek had been opposed, early on, to the introduction of plants, but they had quickly grown on him. Or at least... around him, and he had gotten used to them, because they reminded Caleb of home, and seemed to make him happy.

"Thank you. I like what you've done with the place."

"This is all Master Caleb's work! He's kept busy while you were away."

"Has he?" Essek said, smiling up at Caleb as he lifted his head, a new gleam in his eye.

"And he is always in the library, studying away! A model apprentice!"

"Then I should reward him. Would you like to accompany me to town tomorrow? I have some errands to run, nothing special, but I don't want you to catch cabin fever, trapped in here all day."

Caleb nodded, but Essek took leave of him before he could say another word and retreated to his study, where he remained until he was called to dinner. He ate in silence, than went straight to bed.

The following morning he sent for Caleb, suggesting he disguise himself before heading into town. It was Caleb who decided to take on the form of a drow. He had already made himself look like an elf once, but this time he gave himself dark blue-gray skin, narrow violet eyes, and turned his hair, which had already begun to grow out, frosted white. His long, slender ears slanted back, and he made them appear pierced. He wanted to look like the other drow he'd seen, from the windows of Essek's tower. He was already dressed like them.

Essek could not resist moving closer to examine his guise. He even tilted his chin, to look him over from where he was seated.

"How charming you look!" He exclaimed with a soft smile. "But I think I prefer you as you are."

Caleb's newly elongated ears twitched, like he had seen Essek's, eliciting a small laugh.

"Marvellous! Now let's go, before the illusion wears off."

He offered his arm and Caleb hesitated a moment before taking it, as Essek led him out into the streets and towards the market square of the Gallimaufrey. Many venders were out that day with their carts, plying their wares in streets softly illuminated by green lanterns. Nearly everyone there had darkvision, save Caleb, making these darkened streets easier to navigate.

Essek leaned in and murmurred into his ear: "Keep close," before they stepped into the crowd, not wanting to lose him. Fresh fruit and vegetable, mushrooms and squash, and fish brought in from the coast lined their carts, but the most plentiful commodity was rice. "And keep your eyes open. Sometimes you find what you need in the most unlikely places."

Caleb turned his head. They were stood close together; closer than they had ever been, ever had cause to be, in their lessons.

It was only a safety precaution which led him to link their arms. He had no way of knowing what would happen if anyone were to see through Caleb's disguise, and discover a Zemnian human was living in the heart of the Dynasty... so he kept him close. And Caleb liked being close. 

His eye was caught by the sight of books with elaborately painted covers. He stopped Essek, asked to look. Essek smiled, let him. No magical texts, but what caught Caleb's eye was a children's book which reminded him of a book he had as a child. Caleb wanted it, so Essek paid for it, without ceremony, thanked the seller, and led Caleb to the next vender, who specialised in arcane goods. He bought extra components, so Caleb would have more than enough to continue his studies. He was being generous. Too generous. 

As the morning passed into mid-day, they bought simple food which could be eaten in the street, though the busy thoroughfare had become impossible to stand still in, with so many people and carts passing through in either direction. As one edged by Caleb took Essek's arm, dragged him out of the way and against a narrow brick wall, before hopping up onto the wall to sit. Essek easily floated up to join him. He liked to cheat. He couldn't for the life of him work out how Caleb was so beautiful even when he was eating.

"This is good," Caleb said, indicating the food, mouth still full.

He had no manners, really; but Essek found that endearing, too.

"Yes," Essek agreed, having hardly touched his.

Caleb laughed, turning his head to look out over the city, which seemed to glow by the light of the lanterns.

"It's so beautiful," he murmurred, meaning Rosohna, but Essek was still staring at Caleb when he nodded.

"Yes, it is."

The human cast dancing lights and crossed his legs, looking over his newly acquired book while he finished his meal.

It was a nice moment. He thought he could stay forever on that wall, overlooking the city, with Caleb. But it didn't last.

"Oh look, a cat!" Caleb suddenly exclaimed, jumping down from the wall to rush over to a small, mewling, striped creature he found by the leg of one cart, who was thin as a twig. He picked it up, cradled it in his arms. Found a thorn stuck in its paw. He tried to wrest it free.

Essek, meanwhile, drifted back down to earth and wandered over to a nearby cart, pretending to look at the wares, while keeping one eye trained on Caleb, to make sure he went unharassed. He knew Caleb was still unfamiliar with Rosohna, and Xhorhas, and large cities in general. He hadn't even been living in Rexxentrum for very long before he made his escape. How lucky he was to run into him when he did.

"May I interest you in some flowers, Sir? For your companion, perhaps?" The vendor asked. His eyes flitted past Essek to Caleb, who was now waving at him, still holding the cat as if it were a baby.

"Hey Essek, come over here!" He called, before setting down the cat lightly on its feet. He mewed happily and purred, nuzzling his head against Caleb's leg.

"Why should my companion want flowers?" Essek asked, absentmindedly, eyes still trained on the human mage. He could still see through his guise.

"It is a tradition in the West, flowers are seen as a very romantic gift, each one is symbolic..." the florist insisted, making Essek's jaw snap shut. It was a brazen suggestion, one this man certainly would not have made if he knew who Essek was. "The hyacinth represents constancy, the camellion, admiration and longing, gardenias, secrecy, forget-me-nots and violets say... I will always be true." He briefly glanced back at the florist, just long enough to spy the sprig of flowers he held in hand, then started heading towards his human, ignoring the vender's protests, because Caleb was waiting for him.

As soon as he was within reach, Essek took hold of his arm just above the elbow, and led him out of the main thoroughfare into a sidestreet which... turned out to not be a sidestreet at all, but a garden maze. Caleb seemed surprised but put up no resistance. The sickly cat followed at his heels.

"What did you want?" Essek asked in a low, clipped voice, when he came to a stop.

"Oh. I made friends with the cat!"

Essek let go of Caleb's arm, took a step back as the cat glided between them, circling Essek's legs before sitting down on the ground next to Caleb. It took to delicately bathing itself.

"He does seem to like you. But where is his master?"

"I don't know if he has one. He looks like he's been on the streets for some time."

He did look remarkably similar to Caleb when Essek first found him, but Essek did not remark on the likeness.

"He's a familiar, surely he has a master, unless... they died."

"Do you think we can keep him?"

"What?" Essek asked, ears pricking up.

"I will take care of him, and pay for his food, and keep him out of the study, I promise!"

His mouth twitched, as he looked rather severely down at the familiar, who gazed proudly back. He meowed, in an indifferent sort of way, showing his teeth, but not to hiss; only to yawn in his face. Essek liked him.

"I suppose... a familiar is just what our tower needs. It's good luck, isn't it, to have fey on your side?"

"Thank you, Essek! You won't regret this!" Caleb exclaimed, and before Essek had time to react, he was hugging him. No one had ever hugged him before. It felt strange, and it lasted too long, but as soon as Caleb pulled away... he found he missed it.

Caleb picked the cat up in his arms again, cooing tenderly, before shoved him towards Essek. The drow gingerly stroked his head. 

"Hello little one. What shall we call you?"

"Frumpkin," Caleb suggested.

It was an odd name, but it was his cat. Maybe it meant something in Zemnian.

Essek nodded, gave a curt bow. "An honour to meet you, Frumpkin." The fey purred its approval.

As a trio, they finished their shopping and made their way home. Essek offered his arm, a second time, as they headed for his tower, and Caleb laced his through it. Frumpkin followed. In the courtyard outside his door, he paused. The cat, diabolically, danced between his legs, nearly knocking Essek over as he came to land on solid ground. Caleb's smile softened at that. He extended a hand to catch Essek's arm, as if to hold him down.

"Steady!" He murmurred, drawing closer, and it took all the willpower Essek possessed to keep from kissing him. The groundless desire of a groundless man. He had been alone for a long time. He _liked_ being alone. And he respected Caleb too much to break his heart, as he'd broken others. So he resisted the impulse. It was just an impulse, like any other. Like when you walk along the edge of a towering wall, or the pier of a dock, and contemplate jumping. No one in their right mind would jump. But everyone wonders.

He cleared his throat.

"There is something you should know, Caleb."

The human blinked, with wide eyes like an owl. "What?"

"If you want to continue our lessons... and I hope you do... I think you should know what you are getting into. I am sure you have already heard rumours about me. Most are not true. That doesn't mean that I have not done terrible things in the past, or that I would not do... _anything_ , for knowledge, because knowledge is power, the only power worth having... I have been... blinded, perhaps, in the past, by my ambition, but... I think I have seen a similar spark in you, Caleb. You remind me so much of myself, before..." _I gave my heart away._ No, that was too much, too soon. That would certainly drive Caleb away, and... he had to admit to himself, now, that he did not _want_ Caleb to leave, he just wanted him to have the choice. He wouldn't let his tower be a cage for Caleb, as it had become a cage for him.

But it had already began to feel less like a cage since Caleb moved in, filling it with colour and light and music. He would sing to himself in Zemnian, sometimes, when he was bored, and he always had dancing lights circling him to see by in their world of perpetual night, so Essek had asked Marine to purchase more candles and lanterns for him. Caleb liked the painted lanterns best.

"I don't wish to deceive you. I am not a good man, but my intentions are sincere. If you choose to stay, I will do all I can to shield you from the Assembly, and to train you to the fullness of my abilities, but... if you cannot bring yourself to stay with me, knowing this... I will understand."

Caleb's frown diappeared, and he drew his hand away, but nodded sympathetically.

"When I left Ikithon... they locked me up. I couldn't get free, without killing two guards. One for the keys, and the other, for this, to keep me safe." He reached for the amulet, fished it out from the shirtfront of his tunic. "I cannot take it off, for fear he will come for me... but I can't help but feel it is a constant reminder of the price my freedom cost. I did not hesitate before taking their lives. I never thought: these guards have families, loved ones, waiting for them. They are simply doing their job. I simply killed them, because they stood in my way, because they stood between me and freedom. And now... I can't help but wonder if my heart isn't black as pitch."

"We all do what we must to survive in this cold, cruel world... but I think you have a good heart, Caleb. You are not what he made you."

Caleb smiled sadly, lifted his head to meet Essek's eyes, which glinted in the moonlight, just like Frumpkin's, reflective and gleaming. His ears flicked back when Caleb reached forward, took his jaw in hand, and ever so gently led him into a kiss which was featherlight, but so unexpected it left Essek in a startled daze. He didn't even have nerve enough to kiss back.

"Thank you," Caleb said, before crossing the short distance to his doorstep, where he knocked twice. Marin soon appeared to let him in.

Essek hesitated for a long moment before he followed suit. He wanted to say something, anything. To ask him what that meant. Caleb may have reminded him of himself, when it came to magic, but... they were still very different people. Caleb didn't find it hard to be affectionate, to speak his mind, to be sincere, to make himself vulnerable, to make others... vulnerable. But Essek had no idea how to respond. He had already hugged him, and now this? It was too much. But maybe it meant nothing to him. Maybe he was like this with everyone.

Dinner had already been cooked for them by Esme, the chef, but Marin heated it up again before serving it to them. Essek was quieter than normal, and Caleb was too preoccupied with his new cat to notice. He let Frumpkin onto the dining room table, and had Marin bring out a saucer of milk for him, before sharing his fish with the fey. He kept treating it as if it really were a cat, like any other. Marin was confused, at first, by the small beast's unexpected apperance in his domain, but soon warmed to him when he learned he was very intelligent and understood spoken commands.

"Who's a good boy?" Caleb asked with a smile, scritching behind Frumpkin's ear. Frumpkin meowed, ducked his head underhand.

"There is a binding ritual if you wish to make him your familiar." Caleb's raised his head to look across the table at Essek. It wasn't usual for him to sit at the opposite end, so far away, but... nothing about this day had been usual.

He told Caleb to bring the fey cat and a few components to the laboratory after he finished dinner, and he would walk him through the ritual. It shouldn't take long. As soon as he was gone, he called Marin over.

"You seem in high spirits!" His servant remarked. It only served to deepen his master's frown. "What do you need?"

Essek dropped a few coins down onto the table. He had been throwing a lot of coin around today, but he had never given much thought to money. He had been one of the lucky ones, born into it; he took it for granted.

"Fetch some flowers from town next time you're out. Blue ones. I want to brighten up this place."

"Oh? As you wish, Sir." 

"Maybe some more plants, too. The tower might as well be full of corpses, its so dreary. It needs life, and colour!" He paused, leaning in. "But don't forget the little blue ones, all clustered together... those are very important."

"Right. Should I go now, or...?"

"Tonight or tomorrow."

"Yes, Sir." He bowed and departed, but Essek could overhear him muttering something about flowers to the cook as he went.

Essek closed his eyes, head sinking into his hands. This was a problem he had not prepared for. He wasn't used to entertaining guests, and he had no idea what to do with guests who didn't want to leave. Who _he_ didn't want to leave. 

"What have I gotten myself into?" He muttered, shaking his head, before rising to his feet and heading for the laboratory. He heard a few things crashing, and a bottle shatter on his way up the stairs, but no screams, so that was a good sign.

Caleb snapped to attention when Essek glided into the room. It seemed Frumpkin was the one responsible for knocking the bottles over, but Caleb was avidly trying to clean up the resulting alchemic experiment.

Essek smiled at the strange scene, shaking his head, and Caleb forgot his anxiety long enough to smile back. 

"You look ridiculous," the drow said, picking up the cat and swaddling it in his arms while Caleb finished cleaning up a spilled bottle and then drew himself back to full height. Then Essek set down the cat on the floor and began by drawing a circle.

He walked Caleb through the steps of the ritual. He had never performed it before, but he only had to glance at one of his old textbooks before it came back to him. It didn't hurt that the familiar had found them, first; the hardest part of the spell wasn't the binding ritual, it was summoning a suitable fey or fiend willing and able to be bound. This fey seemed more than happy to adopt Caleb as his new master. He was already curled, contentedly, in Caleb's lap, where they both sat on the floor at opposing points of their circle.

Once the ritual was completed, he tested whether or not it had worked by snapping his fingers to make Frumpkin vanish and than reappear. A genuine, toothy grin spread across the human's face. He pressed his nose to the cats. It was endearing. Essek could not help smiling, too. He could not stop thinking about how easily Caleb had put his arms around him in the garden, or kissed his mouth, as he showered this tiny creature with affection.

"Looks like you really are part of the family, now!"

"You are both part of this household," Essek interrupted. And it felt like an interruption, Caleb had bonded so quickly with his new companion. "I know I have nothing to offer you besides my spells... and I cannot always be here to train you... but Marin, I think, likes having you around... and I can promise this place will always be a safe haven for you."

Caleb had his hands on either side of Frumpkin, lifted his top half so he was very long, then set him down. This clearly amused him. 

"Thank you, Essek. That's very kind of you."

Essek grimaced at the word _'kind.'_ It wasn't something he had ever been accused of before. He was _polite,_ yes, when he wanted to be, but... that was just his noble upbringing shining through. Kindness is something else entirely. It wasn't something he knew, before Caleb showed up. Marin had always been... affable, but he was also his employee. His tolerance was expected, paid for.

"Can I tell you a secret?" Caleb asked, setting Frumpkin down and leaning closer, confidentially. There was a splash of gold dust on his face, and in his hair, a consequence of Frumpkin's experiment. Essek was tempted to brush it away, but stilled his hand. His hair had grown out, and it complimented his broad jaw and nose and freckled face, making him look like a manticore.

"Uh, only if you wish..." _Gods, I am stammering._

_And it meant nothing. I know it meant nothing. It can't._

"There is nowhere else I would rather be."


	2. Chapter 2

They soon settled into a kind of routine. Essek spent more time at home than ever before, which meant more lessons. Caleb combed through Essek's library, when he wasn't learning dunamancy. Marin had, begrudgingly, warmed up to Frumpkin. And they were happy. Until one day a summons appeared, bearing the Bright Queen's royal seal. It arrived in the middle of a lesson, cutting it short as Marin hurriedly knocked on the door. He had never interrupted a lesson before. Essek saw the seal, and immediately snatched the letter from his hand, and took out a knife to break the seal and read it, as both Caleb and Marin watched, rapt. Once he had finished reading it, he stood up without a word, walked over to the fireplace, and unceremoniously fed the letter to the flames.

"Did you really just burn a letter from the _Bright Queen?"_ Marin gasped with shock. 

"Don't you have work to do?" Essek asked.

Marin started, then muttered apologies as he made his way to the door.

Caleb simply watched, transfixed, as the letter burned. He hadn't lived long in Xhorhas, but he had read enough books on the Dynasty to know something of its history. Their Queen had founded the Dynasty several life times ago, after personally leading drow up to the surface, away from the influence of Lolth and 'into the Light.'

And Essek had fed her letter to the fire as if it were nothing. He returned to his study, leaning over Caleb's shoulder to find where they had left off, but the human's attention had been pulled and nothing he said seemed able to bring him back.

"You want to know what was in the letter?" Essek guessed. A nod. "The Queen is summoning all able-bodied wizards in the Dynasty to help her wage war with the 'usurping' Empire, but... I have no wish to take part in her war of vengeance."

"What happens if you don't answer?" Caleb asked, clearly more concerned than Essek, who shrugged it off.

"She may try to arrest me, but she will eventually give up. I am very difficult to catch."

He leant forward to turn the page in Caleb's spellbook.

"Then we will both be on the run from the law."

A faint smile flickered across the drow's lips, as he lifted his head, meeting Caleb's gaze and holding it.

"I can't see any other way out of it. I won't help her and the good Professor build their war machines. As much as I dislike the Assembly... I see no reason to bring innocents into this conflict."

"Some villain you are," Caleb chides. "You sound dangerously close to developing a conscience."

 _"Luxon forbid,"_ Essek responds, absently.

He had evaded the Bright Queen and Aurora Watch before, but... that was when he had nothing to lose. Now... he had Marin, and Esme, and Caleb, and Frumpkin, and his tower. Going into hiding could jeopardise that.

"What if I went to the Bright Queen for you?" Caleb suggests.

 _"No,"_ Essek is quick to answer. "You're already in enough danger. You'll get caught."

Months had passed since his escape, and the Assembly had not tracked him down yet, but... Essek didn't want him to push his luck.

"I won't. I'll go in disguise and tell her... you're sick, or injured... that way she won't try to arrest you, and we won't have to go on the run."

That was the first time he had ever used the word _'we,'_ but Essek wasn't going to bring attention to it. He waved a hand, dismissively. "There are wards throughout the Lucid Bastion. Countless wards. Even if you got inside... she would see through your disguise immediately."

"You don't think I can do it?" Caleb asked, one brow arched. Essek pulled back just enough to meet his eyes, which was a mistake.

"I think you're a very talented wizard, but... she is a very well-protected Queen, and..."

"You don't think I can do it."

"I don't think you can do it."

Caleb moved to his feet, startling the drow when he tore his spellbook out from under him.

"I'll prove you wrong," he snapped, quickly leaving the study.

The drow doesn't try to stop him, just shakes his head and tried to turn his focus back to his research, but... it's difficult. He spends the new few hours staring at books instead of reading them. He can't help thinking maybe Caleb was right. He could not ignore her summons forever. He could not go on the run if that meant dragging Caleb with him into even more danger, either. After a few hours had passed, Marin knocked on the opened door, holding a tea tray. Essek did not look up from his research, but thanked him mechanically when he set it down.

"The weather's nice. Are you going out today?" Marin asked.

"Why would I go out, when everything I could possibly need is right here?"

He took a sip of the tea and scalded his tongue. He was always too impatient.

"I was just wondering." A pause. "I think Master Caleb likes the flowers you requested..."

Essek nodded, expecting Marin to leave. But he didn't leave. He kept looking at him.

Eventually he lifted his head with an exasperated sigh. "...Yes? What is it?"

"Do you want me to put out a standing order?"

"A standing... but we already have the flowers?"

"Yes, but flowers die without water and sunlight."

"Oh, I see." Of course they did. He should have known that. "Put out a standing order, then."

He had wanted Caleb to feel more at home when he ordered Empire plants and flowers, but he shouldn't have been surprised to learn they could not survive in such a hostile environment. Everything from the Empire withers and dies in Xhorhas. Even Caleb, from the looks of it, seemed to be wilting from lack of sunlight. Maybe next time his business took him out of the country, he could take Caleb with him. If he wanted to go. Would he want to go? They spent so much time together, but they never _went_ anywhere...

"Very good, Sir," Marin replied with a bow. "Esme and I were wondering if you might like to have the tower to yourself for a few days?"

Essek lowered his book with a sigh. "If you want a holiday, just say so. You know I hate mind games."

"We just thought you and Master Caleb would like to have some time alone together..."

"Why should I want to be alone with Caleb?"

"It's just... you two seem so close, always whispering, or laughing, going on walks..." Marin stopped short, eyes widening. "...I'm overstepping, aren't I?"

"Nothing is going on between us. He's my apprentice," Essek answered sharply, turning his focus back to his book.

"Of course not. Forgive me." He bowed, took up the tray, started to leave.

"If anyone asks, I would like to be left alone for the remainder of the day. I have a lot of work to do."

"Yes, Sir!" Marin shouted, as the door fell closed behind him.

☆☆☆

That evening, Caleb dined alone. A victory for Frumpkin, who Marin eventually allowed back onto the table when it became apparent Essek would not be appearing.

"The Master's in one of his moods again. He's taken to brooding. It will pass," Marin says with a shrug, when Caleb asks.

He looks at the blue flowers in the vase at the centre of their table, ghosts his fingers over them.

"These look like the ones in my room. Where did you find them?" He asks.

"They're from the Empire. Master ordered them specially." A pause, before he lifts his chin with a smirk. "Says they matched your eyes."

He had to do _something_ to make these idiots see what was right in front of them. Wizards are never any good at talking.

"Did he?" Caleb asked, one brow raised.

"I think he's fond of you."

Caleb gives him a sceptical look.

"That's why he's locked himself in his room, and refuses to talk to me?"

"It's been a long time since he was 'fond' of anyone. It's a new experience. It takes some getting used to."

Caleb goes quiet, gazing intently at the flowers. "Do you think the rumours are true?"

Marin scrinches up his face, tilts his head to one side. "What ones?"

"Do you think he kidnaps people and eats their hearts?"

"I don't think he'd eat your heart! He'd have no one left to talk about books to."

"I wasn't asking about mine. I meant... generally speaking."

"He's just a wizard with a bad temper. Once he gets this mood out of his system he'll be right as rain, and everything can go back to normal."

So he _probably_ didn't eat hearts. Then what, exactly, was he apologising for, the other night, when they returned from the market? What was he trying to hide from him when he warned him not to get too close?

 _And why did I kiss him?_ It had seemed like a good idea at the time, because he was feeling impulsive and got carried away. _Maybe you want to get your heart eaten,_ he thought with a sigh, running a hand over the back of his neck.

There wasn't another Essek sighting until the following morning, when he showed up at breakfast. He was happy to see Caleb when he arrived, told him he had discovered a new spell and wanted to show him as soon as he was finished eating. Caleb was soon dragged to his laboratory, where he excitedly went through the steps of a dunamantic spell.

Once he had gone over the theoretics of the spell, they moved on to the practical demonstration. Essek asked permission before stepping closer to take both his arms in hand and guide him through the somantic motions of the spells, as he leans in close, to repeat the words of the spell. And Caleb's heart shouldn't beat faster, when he does, but it does. He's so close, it wouldn't be difficult to kiss him. All he would have to do is turn his head, and... Essek's eyes fall to Caleb's lips, and he parts his mouth, wanting, waiting... but he waits too long, and the moment passes.

"Make me look like a drow," Caleb demands, breaking Essek's concentration. "You're better at illusions than I am, and I have to look good if I'm going to the Bright Queen's Court."

Essek pulls away, mouth clamping shut, looks askance. "I don't want you to get in trouble."

"Too late," Caleb replies. "Please... I want to repay you for all the good you've done me."

Essek nods slowly, as Caleb slips out of his grasp, turns to face him.

"On one condition: I go with you in disguise. I don't trust her."

He extends a hand for Essek to shake. "You have a deal. Tomorrow, we see the Bright Queen."

The drow hesitates before shaking it. The coldness of the gesture leaves him chilled. It's somehow less than nothing.

☆☆☆

Caleb went to the Lucid Bastion in the guise of a drow, wearing Xhorhassian robes. No armour, no weapons, only a letter bearing the crest of Den Thelyss, so the Bright Queen's guards would admit him when he arrived to see her Highness on the behalf of Essek Thelyss. The guards let him in at once. Seeing the Queen without an appointment is... more difficult. He is left to wait for a few hours in an adjoining room, until Court is dismissed, his letter delivered, and he is admitted to the throne room.

"Ah, welcome. I am told you're here on behalf of Essek Thelyss?" The Bright Queen asks, dismissing the two guards who accompany them, so that they appaer to be alone.

Caleb gave a formal bow. "Your Majesty, he would have come himself, but he was unfortunately detained... that's why he sent me... I am afraid he cannot join you, because he has taken ill."

The Bright Queen arched a brow, then laughed. _"My_ Essek Thelyss? Taken ill? It must be quite the illness, to keep him down."

"You know him personally?" Caleb asked with genuine surprise. He didn't like the way she called him 'hers.'

"Oh, _very_ well! He used to work for me, once upon a time. But as you are, no doubt, aware... things change. So much has changed. Does he still think I am mad, to go to war with an Empire more than twice the size of mine?"

"He said... he doesn't support this war, doesn't support any war... He said he hates politics. He called it a war of vengeance."

"How bold you are! I wonder where he found you." She tilted her head to one side, leant it against her chin. "Zemnian, no doubt. From the Empire. How suspicious."

His accent. He hadn't... he needed to work on his accent. All the 'disguise self' spells in the world could not hide his accent.

"Who are you, really? And what are you to Essek? He's always so adamant on 'working alone.' That's why I assumed he wanted no part in my war."

"I'm his apprentice." He felt so very small, before the Bright Queen's throne. She had a long trailing dress, silvered armour, and a sceptre, which extended long enough to touch the ground. It was all very... intimidating. And beautiful, in its way. Cruel and beautiful. "And I am Zemnian, _yes,_ but... I have no loyalty for the Empire. I would help you if I could, but he... he says he doesn't want to fight anymore. He refuses to pick a side. He has no loyalty for... anyone."

The Bright Queen waved her hand dismissively. "He will regret being so... obstinant, in future. But I suppose I cannot force his hand. You, however... are interesting. How can you be so loyal to someone who claims to have no loyalty for anyone?" She asked, setting aside her sceptre and rising from her throne to glide forward, towards him. Caleb tensed in place, as if rooted to the spot... until he realised he _was_ rooted to the spot. "Haven't you heard the legends that circle him? He's already sold his heart to a demon. He only cares for power." She extended a hand, and gently raised his chin to face her. He tried to resist, but couldn't. He tried to move his arms or legs, but couldn't. She smiled down at him. "He isn't worth your love. It means nothing to him. He'll eat you up, and cast aside the remains, like he does with everyone, in the end."

"I don't believe you."

She shrugged, retracting her hand, and glided away.

"More fool you. If you had played your cards right, we might have been good friends... but still you defend him, even knowing what he is."

"I _know_ he has a heart! He wouldn't work with demons. He's just... a talented mage, who works hard, and no one can accept that, so they assume there must be some pact, or dark magic, or..."

The Queen waved her hand, and his disguise dissipated. Her smile hardened into a frown as she looked him over. "I don't know why he showed such faith in a human, but... we will find out soon. _Guards!"_

She clapped her hands, summoning two heavily-armoured guards to take Caleb in hand. One grabbed hold of either arm, as he broke free of the spell holding him.

"Take him to the Dungeon of Penace. One way or another, I _will_ have my Shadowhand back," she said as the guards dragged him out the heavy doors of her throne room.

He didn't try to resist them, knowing how futile it would be. He was completely unarmed; he didn't even have his components with him. The guards stopped, briefly, to talk to other guards in Undercommon. Essek had offered to teach him, but now... he is almost thankful not to know what awaits him in this 'Dungeon of Penance.' Then he feels one of the guards tug his arm, and start leading him away. They order him to follow in a gruff voice, and he follows, as they led him towards a glass door, away from the main entrance, until suddenly, quick as lighting, they jutted thirty feet forward, through the door, misty stepping onto the balcony.

He tilted back the visor of his helmet, so Caleb could see it was Essek. He smiled, fangs gleaming, and leapt up onto the bannister lining the small balcony. He extended a hand for Caleb. He warily took it, and Essek helped him up onto the narrow bannister. They were far too high up to jump, but when Essek told him to follow him off the balcony... he followed, closing his eyes, so he could not see high up they were, or feel the force as they fell, preparing for another feather fall... but instead he found, as he stepped out, what felt like solid ground. He took another step. Essek was slowly guiding him forward.

 _"I won't let go,"_ he murmurred as he showed him how walk on air as if it were solid ground. _"Trust me."_

He heard the guards coming, and nodded his head, and they glided away from the balcony, Essek taking his hands and leading him until he was steady enough he only needed the lightest touch to stay airborne. It was frighting, at first, but also exhilirating, to feel the wind through his hair, the tempestuous breeze, tangling his hair. It was dark enough no one gave them any notice as they made their way through the Firmament back to the safety of Essek's tower. As they approached, Essek gently set Caleb back down on a small balcony of his own, then bowed, as he let go of Caleb's hands.

There were a million questions he wanted to ask. How did he know the Bright Queen? What had he done to make her so angry?

But instead he asks: "Is it true? Did you really sell your heart for magic?"

Essek drew closer, cloak still dancing in the wind. "Wouldn't you do the same, if given the chance?" He extended a hand to cover Caleb's chest, so he could listen to his pulse, feel it dance. "A heart is a heavy burden. You're already so powerful, Caleb. Just imagine how much more powerful you would become, if you only..."

Caleb shoved him away before he could finish. Essek glided back, before his feet connected with solid ground.

"Why would I give away the only thing that separates _me_ from _them?"_

"Your former Master?" Essek guesses, and hits the mark.

"I don't want to become a monster like him."

"Do you think I am a monster?" He asks, tilting his head to one side.

Caleb shakes his head. He _seems_ to care about him. He _seems_ to care about Marin, Esme, and Frumpkin. Maybe it isn't real, maybe it's all an act, but... he still wants to believe in him.

"No, but... I think you could become one, if you weren't careful. Everything has a price."

Essek leans closer, lowers his voice: "What's yours?"

"Show me the demon," Caleb demands.

He draws a step back, as Essek draws a step forward.

"I want to protect you, Caleb, but there are _limits..."_

Caleb shakes his head. "I'm not afraid. _Show me."_

So Essek leads him, reluctantly, through his tower, and down into a locked cellar. It is there, Caleb discovers, that Essek keeps chained his demon, bound by a spell and unable to move from the circle entrapping him. Essek takes Caleb by the hand and slowly leads him down the darkened stone stairwell, so he doesn't slip and fall. He comes close to slipping and falling himself.

"I am still getting used to walking," Essek admits as they make their descent.

"Then why do you bother?" Caleb asks, not looking up.

"Because you asked me to."

Their eyes meet briefly, lock.

Caleb suddenly feels full of regret.

 _I shouldn't have come down here,_ he thinks, _I shouldn't have pushed._ _I was so much happier when I didn't know the truth.  
_

Months had passed, living in a house with a demon chained in the cellar, and they were the happiest months he had ever known. He could have so easily gone on being happy, if he had never asked. Why did he have to ask? He even felt guilty for making Essek sad, as if he still had a heart left to break.

They continued their descent until they reached the bottom of the cellar. Essek led him to the glyphs where the demon lied bound in chains. He bid Caleb stop and wait a safe distance away, before gliding forward.

 _"Why has it taken so long for you to feed me? You know I will take whatever crumbs you offer, I have grown so desperate here!"_ The demon laments. It takes him a moment to notice Caleb, but when he does, his eyes go dark with hunger. _"You have a brought a friend...?"_

"This is my apprentice, Caleb," Essek explains. "You will _not_ harm him. He is not for you."

 _"But I can sense the magic in him! So strong I can nearly taste it,"_ the demon mutters. It looks like a fire elemental, in this form, except it has eyes and claws and a yawning jaw full of sharpened, jagged teeth. _"So much untapped potential. You see it, too, don't you? He's practically glowing, all lit up like a lighthouse."_ It turns its eyes on Caleb, when it sees its pleas getting nowhere with Essek. _"What say you, Mortal? I can give you anything you desire, if you only feed me..."_ It extended a trailing, flaming, clawed hand longingly, imploringly, in Caleb's direction. Essek hissed, stepped between them, arm out to the side, covering Caleb. He knew the demon was bound and could not move out any further beyond the glyphs, but he still hated the games he would play with what he thought was his food.

"You will not come anywhere near him, or I will obliterate you, demon," the drow snapped, eyes narrowing, and an arm extended, protectively. Caleb edged forward, placing one hand on Essek's shoulder.

"I'm not afraid, Essek, it's okay..." he insisted, still unsure what to make of this side of Essek. His ears pinned back, like Frumpkin's, when he was mad. "I know not to make deals with demons."

"He has no power over you unless you do. But I still don't trust him," Essek shot a wary look over his shoulder at the demon.

 _"You could trust me if you only fed me!"_ It cried before collapsing langoriously into pure simmering flame.

"Have you seen enough?" Essek asked, turning back to Caleb, a lantern in hand, seeking confirmation. He nodded his head, said: _"Good,"_ and led the way back up the stairs. This time he didn't take Caleb's hand, but he opened the door for him when they reached the top, locking it behind them. "I'm sorry you had to see that, but... now you know."

"Thank you for trusting me with your secret. I know that can't have been easy for you, but... I won't tell anyone."

Essek laughed. "You think I care what anyone else thinks?"

"I think you regret letting him into your life. Letting anyone else hold power over you."

"What power? I have him bound so well he could never escape, and he knows that. He might be 'hungry' but demons are immortal. He won't die of hunger."

"You really think a few glyphs is going to be enough? Essek, you gave him a part of you! You made him stronger!" 

Essek frowned and looked away with... guilt? Embarassment? Could he still feel those emotions? Could he still feel _anything?_

"I was... young. Already considered a prodigy, but... I wanted more, because I always wanted more, because... nothing mattered, except magic."

"How many years have you kept him bound here?"

Essek shrugged. "I stopped counting. Half a century, maybe longer. But he is harmless in this state."

"Do you really believe that?"

Another shrug. He clearly wasn't in the mood to talk.

"Marin will help you find somewhere to stay the night, if you wish to leave..."

"I'm not going anywhere. Not unless you want me to leave."

He still felt sorry for him. How could he abandon him, now, after all he'd done for him?

"You would still stay? Knowing what I am, what I've done?" Essek asks, not looking back, not able to meet his eyes.

"You were too young to know what you were doing. Why would I hold that against you? In your place... I might have done the same thing."

He could still remember a time, not so long ago, when he would have given anything for more magic. Now, he knows better. He knows there are more important things than _'power.'_ He knows how important it is to have a heart.

☆☆☆

  
That night after everyone had gone to sleep, Caleb stirred, restless, from his bed, and made his way through the tower as soundless as a mouse. He had lived their long enough to know its pathways like the back of his hand, even in the dark. He found his way to Essek's bedroom, pushed it open. The door was closed, but not locked. He had never been in his bedroom before, but it didn't take him long to find a desk or sidetable. He searched it for a key. Found a key. The same key Essek had used, a few hours ago, to unlock the cellar. He glanced, in passing, towards the sleeping drow in his bed. He seemed to be resting peacefully. 

"Sleep well," he whispered before gliding out the door and into the hall. He made his way quickly down the stairs and to the door of the basement, wasting no time.

The door unlocked, he slowly, carefully, made his way down the uneven stone stairs, clinging to the wall, a circle of dancing lights following him. The demon was waiting for him, chained and langourious, yawning, but did not stir until Caleb's feet touched the floor of the basement, and he headed towards him.

_"How good it is to see you again! How delicious young mages are. There's so much raw magic in you... what I'd give to devour a heart as full as yours!"_

Caleb glared at it. "Do you think I could ever be as powerful as him?"

 _"Perhaps,"_ it answered diffidently. _"But Master Thelyss really is one-of-a-kind."_

"Are the stories true? Did he really give you his heart in exchange for power?"

 _"Why do you care?"_ The demon hissed. _"I don't want to talk about him. I'd rather talk about you."_

"I need to know the truth. The whole truth," Caleb insists, growing desperate. "I need to know how to help him."

The demon's eyes narrowed, two burning coals. Then, after a minute or two had passed, its look softened.

 _"You've fallen in love with him, haven't you? How amusing! You're just as much a prisoner as I am, but you've fallen in love with your heartless warden!"_ It laughed. 

Caleb throws a magic missile at the demon; it's not enough to do any real damage, but its enough to annoy him. It shrinks back, testily.

 _"If you kill me, he dies, too,"_ the demon snaps in warning. _"Do you hate me so much you'd risk your beloved warden?"_

Caleb had no way of knowing whether or not that was true. The Academy had shied away from stocking books on demonology.

"I'm not trying to kill you. I just want answers. What can I do to get his heart back? There must be something you want."

_"If you want answers... you're going to have to pay for it. Something of yours. Something... magical."_

It's eyes gleamed. Caleb closed his, sighed. "I will free you from your chains if you promise to give Essek back his heart."

 _"Some bargain! I don't know why you'd want it, there's hardly any left. You really think he could love a pitiful little welp like you with those ashes?"_ The demon asked, considering him. _"But freedom is a worthy trade. I just need something, now, to sweeten the deal. Give me your eyes!"_

Caleb cut off a lock of his hair with a knife, gave him that instead. The demon greedily ate it up, eyes glowing, than nodded, tittering.

_"That will suffice for now. I will show you how to get Essek's heart back... but you will need to unbind me first. I can tell you what the spell requires, but the rest... is up to you."_

The demon tells him what components the ritual will require, and Caleb makes a list, says he will return soon.

 _"Be quick, little mage! I make no promises there will be any heart left to save if you take your time!"_ The demon calls after him, but Caleb's mind is already resolved, and he's stopped caring.

A clear mission in mind, he locks the door to the basement behind him before heading upstairs, where he slips back into Essek's chamber to return the key. Before he can leave, however, the elf stirs awake.

"What did you ask him for?" He asks with a yawn. Caleb freezes, key still in hand, back to the bed. Essek rises, eyes gleaming in the dark like a cat's. "Elves don't sleep, we trance. I saw you take the key. What did he want from you?" 

It only takes him a moment to rise from the bed and cross the distance between them. He extends one hand to touch Caleb's hair, where he'd trimmed a large segment.

"Really? He took so paltry a gift? He _must_ be hungry," he observed, running his fingers through the hair that remained.

"What should I have given him? My soul?" Caleb snaps. But he doesn't pull away from Essek's touch. He can't bring himself to.

The drow smiled sadly. Caleb would have preferred it if he were angry. Instead, he just seems... disappointed.

"I don't blame you for being curious. That's a vice we share in common. I just want to know where we stand, and why you cut your beautiful hair. I hope it was worth it."

Something about Essek's reaction upset him. Was it because he had wrongly assumed Caleb was doing this for himself? That he was just like him? _..._ Or was the demon right? Was it because he liked standing this close? The touch of his hand? His breath so warm, so near? _Everything you want scares you._

"I wish you'd stop teasing me," he mutters, batting the drow's hand away.

Essek drew it back down to his side and blinked up at him, eyes reflecting the moonlight.

"What do you mean?" He asked, drawing back a step. Only this time Caleb took a step forward.

They were on the balcony again, or they might have been. A hairsbreath away.

"Do you want me or don't you?"

So close to kissing, or punching, or... _something, anything,_ that would get rid of this tension between them. Essek looked him up and down, wet his lips.

"I should warn you, Caleb... my heart is not mine to give away. If it were... it would already be yours. I haven't cared for... anyone, in the century I have been alive... like I care for you."

That kiss the other day had been a thank you, not a prelude. He didn't have an ulterior motive, or at least... not one he was consciously aware of, but... maybe the demon was right.

He wanted more. He didn't care that Essek sold his heart. He didn't care that he was the Wizard of the Wastes. He didn't care what Essek did, or who he was, before they met.

All he could see was that Essek was just as tired and lonely and broken as he was, and loneliness... makes you do stupid things.

Before he could stop himself, he had taken hold of Essek's face.

"I never asked for your heart. Just kiss me, hold me," he whispered.

Essek's breath caught, and he hesitated, eyes wide. His gaze fell to Caleb's lips, with so much want it hurt.

 _"Anything,"_ he murmurs, hands trembling, before he catches hold of Caleb's arms and drags him the rest of the way into a kiss.

Arms wove their way around his waist. They kept kissing. "How fragile you are... like glass," he remarks, as he pulls Caleb back one step, then another. Then he whispers: "Don't hurt me."

"I won't," Caleb promises, and it is a promise. Essek might not have a heart, he might even be beyond redemption, but in that moment, Caleb wanted him more than he has ever wanted anything, even spells, and none of it matters.

He would keep this promise even if it killed him. And Essek believes him, or seems to, because he melts into his touch, pulling him into another molten kiss which leaves him breathless and burning, and he's no longer afraid of fire.

☆☆☆

  
The next day, Essek is gone. This time, at least, he leaves a note. He will be back in a few hours. Just enough time, if Caleb acts quick, to undo a binding spell.

 _Am I really going through with this?_ He wonders, as he runs a hand over the back of his neck, trying to right a crink. He gets out of Essek's bed, gets dressed, finds everything as he left it, including the scrap of parchment in his coat pocket with the list of components he needs to complete the ritual. Then he makes his way downstairs.

"Would you like some breakfast?" Marin asks, seeming to appear from nowhere. He shakes his head, already absent-mindedly casting a disguise self spell over himself. "What about coffee? ...Tea?" He won't give up.

Caleb turns to face him, asks: "How do I look?"

"...I'm sorry?"

"Do I look like a drow?"

 _"Oh!_ Yes, I suppose so... is everything okay? You don't sound..."

 _"Great,"_ Caleb mutters, and before Marin can say another word, he's out the door. He knows if he told Essek what he was planning, he'd try to stop him, but... he had to get his heart back, no matter the cost. He had to, at the very least, give Essek _the choice._

 _He was only a child,_ he thinks, with a look of horror, shakes his head, as if it will shake the mental image. _He didn't know what he was agreeing to... how could he?_ He glanced down at his arms as he walked. The scars were gone, hidden by the spell, but there is still that persistent ache which reminds him they're there. He can still sometimes feel the knife. The burning residuum. He might not have sold his soul to a demon, but... was the deal he made with Trent really so different? He was too young and naive to know that Trent was just using him. All he could see was the magic he offered, which was too tantalizing a prize for a young mage to refuse. So he'd said _yes._ He didn't know saying _yes_ to more magic meant losing his family, his homeland... everything.

He wasn't given a choice, so... he made one. He ran away. He took a risk to break free. To come here. To trust someone he probably shouldn't. And so far... the gamble had paid off. He liked his life here. Liked Essek. Liked learning with him, liked helping with his experiments. Liked whatever last night was, even if he wasn't sure what it meant. It may not have been love; Essek may not have been _capable_ of love; but there was trust, there, and something else, a lot like love. Kindness? Sympathy? He didn't care. He liked it. Liked the way it felt when Essek held him, and he could close his eyes, and his heart stopped racing, and everything felt... still, and safe, and _right..._ even if it wasn't.

He didn't want to lose that just because some demon was holding a fifty year old bargain over his head. So he was giving him a choice. He didn't have to accept; but he deserved to make that choice now that he knew what it meant.

He deserved a second chance.

Or maybe he didn't, but Caleb was going to give him one, anyways.

It didn't take him long to find the components he needed and make his return home. Marin jumped to attention the moment he knocked at the door, and he glided in without ceremony.

"Is Essek home?" He asked, glancing over his shoulder at the small servant, who was staring, now.

"N-no, I was just going to ask you... did he say where he was going?"

"Why would he tell me where he was going?"

The servant laughed, nervously, throwing up his hands.

"Why would you know? You were just the last person to see him!"

Caleb hesitated, arms still full of components. "He's fine. He's safe. I'm going to make him safe."

Marin furrowed his brows, gave Caleb a quizzical look, then shook his head, tail flicking back and forth.

"...Wizard stuff, right? Well, I don't care what anyone else thinks, I like you. Take care of him."

Caleb nodded, then headed for Essek's study, where he scoured the bookshelves for anything on the binding and unbinding of demons. In case this ritual went awry, and the demon didn't keep its end of the bargain... he needed a back-up plan. He hoped Essek would be so proud he thought ahead for once that he would forgive him for leaving the library a mess. He would fix it, after.

_If there is an after._

With all his books and components collected, he headed for the door of the cellar before... realising he'd forgotten all about the key. He set everything down outside the door than ran upstairs and into Essek's bedroom. The bed had been made, but everything else was as he left it that morning. He heard a meow, turned his head. Frumpkin was curled up on the table by the window. Caleb headed over, gave him a pet, and saw the key waiting for him in the centre of the table. The key Essek had always kept with him during the day. Which meant he'd left it there on purpose _._

He wasn't sure what to make of that. Did he know what he was doing? What he planned to do? Was he giving him permission, or was this a test?

Whatever it meant, he took it, and headed straight for the cellar. Frumpkin followed, but stayed a good distance from the circle itself, keeping a watchful eye on the chained demon.

Caleb knew he had to be quick if he wanted to complete the ritual before Essek returned. The demon was evidently glad to see him; of all things, it purred. "Taking a page from Frumpkin?" he remarked idly. A joke. But the demon cast a wary eye over the fey cat, didn't seem to like him. He hissed, and the cat hissed back.

Caleb immediately set to work, laying down glyphs and precariously propping books on binding and demonology open to act as references, so that everything he could possibly need was close at hand, in case this went wrong. _This isn't the sort of magic they teach you at the Soltryce Academy,_ he thought with a smirk, as he completed one segment of the circle, before starting the second.

 _"Something's changed,"_ the demon observed. _"You've changed."_

"Don't talk to me, I'm working," Caleb snapped. He couldn't break focus.

_"You think it's going to be different now, don't you? That he'll stay, because of you? Give up our bargain, because of you?"_

"We had a deal. Or do you want me to stop?" He asked, lifting up the chalk from his circle and staring down the demon who looked half flame, half dyre wolf, now. 

_"I don't want you to stop! I'm just giving you a bit of friendly advice. Sleeping with him won't change anything. He's just using you."_

"I _know_ it doesn't change anything! I'm not... I don't need anything from him, I just... I want him to be free," Caleb said, tightening his hands into fists, and nearly crumbling the piece of chalk in his right hand. "Once he has his heart back... he can do whatever he wants. He saved my life, he gave me a way out, and I'm... returning the favour."

He was pouring his heart out to a demon, now. Is this really what his life had come to?

"You don't need him. You don't need anyone. But you _need_ power _,_ don't you? To get revenge? To become stronger than your makers? To send the Cerberus Assembly crashing down around their heads?"

This time the chalk did break. Caleb moved to his feet, barring his teeth. "I told you before, I'm not interested in what you're selling."

Even breaking the line, the circle starts to glow, faintly, a light running through the patchwork spiderweb of arcane glyphs. His lips twitch. He looks down at the light at his feet, than back at the demon.

 _"What are you waiting for?!"_ It cries, gnashing its teeth, desperate for the final glyph to be drawn, and the circle completed. _"Release me!"_

"I don't trust you. I won't draw the final glyph until you handover Essek's heart."

The demon threw its head back, laughing. _"How do I know you'll keep your end of the bargain? Release me first!"_

"My word is my bond. I will swear an oath..."

 _"Mortal's promises mean nothing to me!"_ It hissed. _"If you really want his heart; you'll have to give me yours."_

The demon starts thrashing, pulling at its chains, until they start... to give way, already weakened by the spell holding him. Caleb slid back a step, holding a hand up and out, prepping a spell. Frumpkin mrrowed, before darting up the stairs.

 _"Never,"_ Caleb snaps. "I _will_ rebind you if you don't do as I say," he threatens, but it's already too late.

It pulls, and the shackles break free, and it slices through its spectral cage with an adamantine claw. It cuts a tear through time itself, and Caleb is knocked back onto the ground of the cellar. He quickly scrambled to his feet, taking out new chalk, and falls to his knees, trying to bind the demon a second time. It only lasts for a minute, but it's long enough for Caleb to move forward and pull the heart from the shimmering flames of the demon. The pain is searing, blinding, but as he pulls back, and free, from the demon's skeletal ribs, a heart of stone, he staggers back again, and down onto the floor. The binding spell breaks and the demon turns on him, teeth barred, growling. Caleb tries to move, tries to react, but he is still blindsided by the screaming pain. Then the demon turns and leaps through the tear in time on all fours, as Caleb watches.

Eventually the pain becomes... tolerable, and Caleb staggers to his feet, before jumping through the tear, and ending up in a strange, dark, spectral dreamscape. Or maybe it's a nightmare. It looks more like a nightmare. Caleb had expected to be thrown back in time, or to a different part of the world, but this seemed to be a whole different plane of existence. He looked around him at the barren, dark wasteland, trying to make sense of it. The land was flat, and shallow, mostly water. The water was strange, dark, reflective. The grass of the surrounding flatlands grew tall, and in the far distance stood cliffs, so the horizon was cut from view, and the sky... was a void.

He resolved not to look at the sky. It seemed to be watching him. Instead, he moved forward, following the trail left behind by the demon: footsteps that singed the earth and left behind ashes.

He kept pressing forward until he eventually saw a young mage in dark robes. He cast dancing lights, to fill the darkness, and light his way, as he started moving through the puddles and low pools. Caleb edged closer, just close enough to be sure it was Essek... and it was Essek, or maybe... a hallucination of Essek, a memory... only he looked much younger. Caleb froze in place. He wanted to cry out, but something stopped him. _What if that isn't really Essek? What if it's a trap?_

The clouds here were so low you could walk through them like a thick mist, and the stars kept watch.

Was this a memory, or a dream? If the demon could do this, there was no telling how much power it held, unbound...

 _"Akuzul? Where are you?!"_ The boy calls. He reaches for something around his neck, that glints in the glow of the dancing lights. He doesn't see Caleb, but Caleb can't tear his eyes away from him.

He's so distracted he doesn't even notice the demon rise behind him, to pierce one claw through Caleb's back. He cries out before falling down onto his knees in the muddy earth. The young Essek hears him, turns his head, starts running over before Caleb's vision blurs, and he falls down into his shoulder, heavily, against the ground with a groan.

The demon prepares to strike a second time, but the boy casts some spell, and a burst of light spreads out from his hand, and the demon recoils and snaps away, dissipating into mist before reappearing across the flatland, where it broke into a run. It was not running towards them, at least. The boy kneels down, grabs his shoulder, turns him over onto his back. He blinks, vision slowly blurring in and out until the two Essek's become one.

"You're hurt!" Dream-Essek cries. "What happened? Who are you?"

"My name's Caleb Widogast. I'll be fine. I just need to catch that demon before he escapes..."

"Escapes? But he said..." The boy didn't want to go. Caleb shoved him away.

"Forget what he said, just run! Don't let him catch you!" He ordered. The boy nodded, rising to his feet, before darting away.

Caleb shakes his head, then looks around him, taking stock of his surroundings.

And finds he's alone, again. Really alone.

_Just like I started._

The pain was searing.

And he was alone.

"You're injured," a familiar voice says. Heavy hands take hold of his shoulder, and his side, over Caleb's own. Caleb winces, gasping at the pain, and the blood pooling out over his hands. When he opened his eyes he saw Essek crouching over him. He focused his vision, blinking up into silver eyes. It was _his_ Essek. This had to be a hallucination. He reached out to touch him, to make sure he was real, and he caught Caleb's hand in his. It felt warm. _  
_

"What are you doing here?" He asks, but it's hard. It feels like something large and heavy has stepped on his chest, knocking the air out of him.

"Frumpkin told me something was wrong. Well, he didn't tell me... but he led me to the cellar, where I found empty chains, and a portal, so naturally... I went through it." He had already placed a hand where the blood was pooling, and held fast, until the wind made him turn his head to see his cloak billowing beside him. He snatched it, with his free hand, tore off a piece, and wrapped it around the gash, to stop his bleeding, tying it close. It hurt when Essek first applied pressure, but it hurt more when he stopped. "Can you walk?" He asked.

Caleb lifted his head, looked back at the tear in space, shimmering bright, then to Essek, nodded.

"I think so..." He tried to move to his feet. Essek helped him, then let go, when he felt sure Caleb could stand on his own.

"Go back through the portal and ask Marin to send for a cleric to seal your wounds."

Essek said, taking a few steps back, ready to sprint off in search of danger.

"I'm not going... anywhere... without you."

The world was still spinning. But maybe it was just because he made the mistake of looking up again. Looking up was a bad idea, here.

"Run, Caleb! Please! I made a promise to keep you safe!"

"I'm not... leaving... without you," Caleb repeated with more force. He tried to lurch forward, but lost his balance, stumbled back. "I can help. You're not alone anymore." Holding his side with one hand, he extended the other, lightly clasping Essek's arm.

"I am beyond redemption. I have to do this alone," Essek answered, shaking his head.

"I don't believe that."

Essek tore his arm free from Caleb's grasp, and turned to run after the demon. He could hear its howling even if he could not see it surrounded by so much mist.

Caleb would have to run to keep up with him, and running wasn't easy right now, but he did his best to propel himself forward.

As soon as he caught sight of the demon--no longer a fire elemental but now something large, looming, and vicious, made of shadows--adrenaline kicked in, and he forgot the pain.

He sees the demon moments away from striking Essek at full force. The drow throws up a shield in the last instant, before a large clawed fist makes contact. This vexes the demon, who throws its head back and howls.

Essek snares the demon in a gravity hold, as Caleb slides up behind him, tremulously raising a hand. Their eyes lock.

"I need your help. _Please,"_ Essek murmurrs. It wasn't like him to ask for help. It wasn't like him to say _please._ Maybe he really was a hallucination. But Caleb wasn't going to see him die. He cast the same spell, so that they are both holding the demon in a force trap.

Essek eventually lets go, looking visibly drained by the spell. Then he cast resonant echo, instructing his Echo to aid Caleb in holding the demon, while he set to work putting down a binding circle on the misted earth of this dreamscape.

Caleb was losing hold of the spell, but managed to keep it going just long enough for Essek to draw the last glyph, incanting something in... Abyssal? He guessed it was Abyssal. And the demon was bound. The Echo and Caleb's spells break off.

Essek rose to his feet, took a few shaky steps back, as he tried to remember how to breath, staring wide eyed at the bound demon before him as Caleb hurtled, aggressively, into his arms, embracing him tightly.

"We did it!" He cried. "And you're still alive!" 

"I seem to be," Essek murmurred, still winded. He lightly patted Caleb's hand, as he tried to catch his breath. He looked around him, at the strange scene they had left in their wake. A path of flames now cut through the spectral swamp, but it did not spread because the flames were arcane. It would eventually burn itself out. "I'm just glad I wasn't too late," he says, eyes locking with the deep blue of Caleb's.

Before he can say another word, a hand takes his, and Caleb leads him to the edge of a dark, reflective pool. He stops when he feels the murky water lap at the heels of his boot. This might be a nightmare, but the pool reflects a thousand stars, and he cannot help but admit there is something calming about this place, even if it is dark, and misted, and endless. Essek looks up, and there's a hand around his neck, and Caleb is pulling him into a kiss. None of this feels real, except the hand clutching his cloak, his neck, that kiss.

Caleb pulls back and opens his eyes to find Essek still frozen in place... and smiles. He can't help but smile. He brings him forward so their foreheads press against each other, lightly. From out of his component pouch, he fishes the heart he stole back from the demon. There are still burn marks on his hand and upper arm, and a pain in his side, but he's stopped caring. They're alive, and they _won._

"Caleb, I don't know what to say..." Essek starts, but Caleb cuts him off before he can finish.

"You don't need to say anything. I'm just returning what's yours."

Caleb presents it to Essek. It looks like nothing more than a piece of coal in Caleb's hand, but as soon as Essek takes it in his, it starts burning red.

He considers it for a long moment, before restoring it to his chest. Only then do his eyes swerve back to Caleb.

"It was so cold before I met you. I thought I didn't need it," he admits, combing a hand through long red hair.

"And now?" Caleb asks, as Essek weaves his arms around his waist, presses closer.

The drow smiles.

"I love you." 

Another kiss. 

"I love you, too."

Essek buries his head in Caleb's shoulder. "Let's go home."

The demon is still wailing, and the Echo taunts it. Essek's younger self is already long gone.

Essek wraps his fur-lined cloak around Caleb's shoulder, and gently takes his arm, guides him to and through the portal which leads them back into the cold, but familiar cellar of their beautiful tower.

He seals the tear in time behind them so that the portal disappears for good, and apart from the badly drawn circles and glyphs scrawlled across the floor, and the broken chains, it looks as if nothing ever happened. 

Frumpkin is waiting patiently for them at the foot of the stairs, meows as Essek walks past, half-carrying the human draped over his shoulders, an arm around his waist. And all that really matters is they are home.


End file.
